pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
