i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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