so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
