Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize