is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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