bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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