if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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