3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
