She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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