just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
