shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
