Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
