seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
