we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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