Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Less talking, more tequila
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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