Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
