So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
