so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
it's great music for shaving your balls
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
