I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
