I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
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