So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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