xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
