So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
