Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize