I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
