Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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