because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Will exercising make me less horny?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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