The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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