Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize