i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
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