my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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