Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
