I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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