you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
