Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
