Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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