"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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