I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
