if only i could text you this smell
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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