dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
