If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
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