I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
