Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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