Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
