in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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