Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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