I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize