No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
