I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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