I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
