everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize