As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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