Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
