We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
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