I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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