You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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