you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
