great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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