Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
