At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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