i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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