Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
this boner is exhausting
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
You were trust falling into bushes
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize