Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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